and the next great time i've spent with envylicious, ended today morning. and i feel very lonely and sad. and i want her to hug me again. and damn i just can't wait to have a job and my own flat. and live with her and don't care about my fucking mother. heh. sometimes i feel that i won't make it. and i want to cry... but then i realize how much do you mean to me, i have that feeling of our victory. the victory of happiness. and everything will be okay, right? because i can make it and you too! so, be strong honey, and just don't care about that! it will be okay.  i love you so much. and want to see you soon! <3

a myślałam, że potrafię dać to, czego pragniesz.
świat bywa zakłamany, a kairi robi z igły widły, jak zwykle i w taki sam sposób.
bitch ze mnie i tyle.
hurts.

[edit]właśnie spostrzegłam, iż zachowuję się jak własna babcia. life sucks.

cierpie na cholerny brak fotek .^. i przypadkiem szukając jakichś natknęłam się na nasze małe cudeńko. wr. czemu nie robimy zdjęć, kiedy się spotykamy? >_> musimy odrobić! w końcu będziemy miały fotographa :D luuuv!
( me and you )

w sumie to po cholerę mam pisać po angielsku, skoro i tak nikt tu prawie nie wchodzi? wzdeech.
tęsknota doskwiera coraz bardziej wraz ze zbliżającym się wyjazdem do nighty. well, zauważyłam, że zawsze tak mam. dosyć dziwna przypadłość, no ale cóż pradzić. od wczoraj totalnie zbiera mi się na płacz, kiedy czytam jakieś stare notki, listy, wszystko. no i kiedy słucham zajebiście dołujących piosenek, które ostatnimi czasy namiętnie ściągam. po nocach śnią mi się skrzydła. żebym w końcu mogła się na nich oprzeć i odlecieć gdzieś.
daleko. nie wiem gdzie.
gdzieś, gdzie będę tylko z tobą.
czuję się taka ciężka. taka... przepełniona pustką. a to paradoks, hę?
ale już niedługo.

... just like i thought... i really need some psycho-doctor or something.
i don't know why words like this: 'hey, hope you will recieve your present tomorrow!' make me sad... and so empty. maybe it's because of that nobody but you gives me something for the special days? and because of that im positive about that if you recieve a gift - the person who gave it to you is your beloved person. well. i feel bad again... and need some hug...


envy.
envy.
envy.
ENVY.

(fill out the charts below.. post in muh comments)
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I
» I committed suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
» Personality:
» Eyes:
» Face:
» Hair:
» Clothes:
» Mannerisms:
[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you fuck me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

well, today's 8th april. my love's brithday... last year that day was... well. i felt so happieh, at night. like i've never felt before. and in the evening... just cried. because of her brithday. everybody gave her so beautiful and fancy things. and me? ph. nothing. heh, don't ask, i felt so stupid. like a bitch, or something. yeah, that wasn't a nice feeling... you know, i want to be better. i shouldn't think about each others presents. i need to think about what i should give her, right? and think about that she's smiling when she recives gifts from me. i'll try. but it's too hard... and... i just... need a little help. will you give me your hand? will you show me the way i used to love you? and erase that envy out me? please. help me, sunny...

( only in polish. )

and there's another song that fits my love.
and you gave it to me lately...
and it's a fucked royedo song so.
royedo is my life pairing. no, let'ssay it together:
royedo is OUR lives pairing. right?
well...
( the special two )

will be? right? just kiss me...

badly need a waterfall of words.

Leave a list of fictional characters in your journal that you would love to get a message from. It is your friend-list's mission, should they choose to accept it, to write you an in-character "letter" from a character on that list. Then they post their own list in their journal and the process continues

1. Edward Elric [FMA]
2. Raphael [dictators]
3. Adolf [dictators]
4. Sora [kingdom hearts]
5. alfons heiderich [FMA]
6. snake soild [MGS]

buehehe...XD just do it, sun :*

i'm fucking happy. damn it. xD :************************ LOVE!

~
~
~
~
sometimes i wish to talk with you like this: http://users.livejournal.com/arashee_/1152.html
when we hadn't skype, remember? we sent messages everywhere we could... it's not that i don't like our phone conversations, you know that! <3 but it's lovely... and damn i love you so much! *lot of kisses*

arrrghhh... fuck that school ._. roooy, come out here and show them your performance with fire or whatever >_>. need to sleep in the morning x3. with my sun *snifff*... hope i'll go to you as soon as possible ;_; miss you.

weź mnie za rękę,
chodź weź mnie za rękę,
no przytul mocno tak...

proszę?

need to cosplaaaay... damn, i need roy for a cos! *grrr* nobody wants to help me V_V oh, well. *working on a roy's grave* XD buehehe.

and i need to play RO! do you want it too? XD

a gdy jest mi źle,
to tu nie ma cię,
nie ma cię.

just a few months... can't wait.

Everyone has their unique name, and every name has some kind of meaning behind it. Either its symbology, its historical relevance, or the reason why your parents chose it; there's always a meaning.

So, what about the names we've chosen for ourselves? Our screennames/handles. What's the special meaning behind those?

I want everyone to tell me the meaning of their names - whether its LiveJournal, deviantART, Gaia, RO, anything! Even your IM handle... tell me the meaning of the one(s) you use the most and that are most frequently associated with you!

hm... i'll try to tell you about all my screen names, but it would be hard, i think...XD

siedle - well, that's my old-school nameey x3 my friends used to call me like that 'cause that's the first part of my surname "siedlecka".

hikaru - my first internet-use name. i used it to log in on kawaii chat a long, long time ago... hikaru from the MKR was my favourite female chara that time so... now i think she is a stupid bitch but whatever >D

kairi - my the most popular and most used screen name. from kingdom hearts, of course... i used it when i was playing RO, when i had a blog on blog.pl service and many, many more... even in school people call me like that XD

kairisia - the alternative for "kairi". when i wanted to make my own deviantart, there was existing the kairi.deviantart.com already. so it's kairisia.deviantart.com now :D

kairinek - another alternative xD

selph - my RO name this time XD. i'm a MAN, so, selph. and i like the names which begins with "S" XD ex. "sandra" "sandrunia" and you know what <3 XD love that name <333 *kiss*

zomg i can't remember more O_o... maybe i'll add more, later XD. if i find anything, damn. XD

1. Post a list of up to 20 books/movies/anime/TV shows/video
games/etc. that you've had an obsessive fannish love of at some time in
your life.
2. Have your friends guess your favourite character from each item.

1. The Lion King (x)
2. Magic Knight Rayearth (x)
3. Dragon ball (x)
4. Digimon /season 1 (lol _^_)
5. Harry Potter (x)
6. X-clamp (zomg, no, no, no....)
7. Gravitation (x)
8. Kingdom Hearts (x)
9. Yami no Matsuei (x)
10. Wish (x)
11. The Lord Of The Rings (x)
12. Final Fantasy X (x)
13. Naruto (x)
14. .hack//DUSK ( >3)
15. Neon Genesis Evangelion (let me go out here _^_....)
16. Metal Gear Soild 3: Snake Eater (noone but my love would guess thatXD)
17. Tekken (eeppppffuuuXD)
18. Desperate Housewives (x)
19. dictators (x)
20. KH2 (x)
21. Fullmetal Alchemist (x)
( EDITED! )

waiting for your anwsers!XD and my love, i hope you know all about that >W< TRY IT! :*

i wish i drew better. really...

zomg, brand new layout >W< <3333 i adore the pic very much, but not whole yournal at all ;_;....
livejournal SUCKS!
khem... and what more? i've done some icons for envylicious today and i'm proud of that :D. and aaaw! i recieved envylicious valentine's day card today! <3333
wanna see? XD~~~~ muahaha... she's so talented ;____; thank you sunny, you're my master >W<

( lookie lookie! <3 )

heh... i think that everything for today O_o. zomg i don't like this journal style ==''.... and badly need ANGSTY ROYEDO ;__________; *cries* sniff... so, i' ll go now. musta make my sunny a wallpaper x3 ;*
love!

i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry.

i have a small gift for you, envylicious... i love you, and want this valentine day be for you a very special, even if i didn't send you your card yet ._. .... and sorry for that crappy picture, but i can't do something better.... i love you. 

( i love you!  )